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For the sake of putting a naughty Christmas smile on your faces; we asked a group of receptionists to come up with the answers they’d love to give but couldn’t  (something to do with wanting to keep their jobs..) for those questions that get under your skin….

I had a missed call from this number, can you tell me who it was?

1) Captain Birdseye, you’ve won a life time supply of fish fingers and a trip aboard his yacht, The Saucy Sue.
2) It was your mother, you’re a naughty boy you forgot your sandwiches.
3) It was your brain, telling you to get in touch some time.

What are you doing?

1) I’ve been waiting for you to hang around my desk to tell me your life story, like always.
2) Nothing, I sit here day in day out because I’ve nothing better to do, I’m kind of like a door stop with an attitude.
3) Playing a game which involves sitting very still for large periods of the year, and grinning quite a bit, and you’re ruining it.
4) Praying that I’m invisible and that you don’t talk to me again, damn.
5) Loading a rifle under the desk, so I’d start running.

Are you busy?

1) Yes sorry, I wont have a chance to fold your envelopes, damn.
2) No, these 15 meeting rooms and 300 calls I get a day manage themselves.

Are you on your break?

1) I didn’t think we were, but still the git went off with the copy-house woman. Have you got time for me to start from the beginning?
2) I’m on a break from being asked stupid questions, but give me twenty minutes and I’ll be back.
3) Yes, but I finish around 5, if you want to come back?

How long will they be on the phone?

1) Let me listen-in on their conversation, err she’s just saying there’s a pillock salesman on the other line so she’s got to go, so I’m guessing shortly.
2) What a stupid question, how would I know?
3) Go away before I call the police.

I don’t know who I was talking to yesterday, but I need to speak to them again.

1) I’ll just put you through.
2) Do you know who you are?
3) Sorry, they aren’t in.